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Subsequent Marriages
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- How many times did you marry? Had any of your spouses previously been married?
- Why did your previous marriage end? Was there a divorce? If so, was it amicable or bitter? Was there a death?
- What did you learn from previous marriages that you brought into the new relationship?
- Did your expectations of marriage differ after having been married before? Why? In what ways?
- Were you reluctant to remarry? Why or why not?
- How and where did you meet your new spouse? What was the initial attraction? How long did you date before you were engaged? Did you live with your spouse before you were engaged or married? Had your spouse been married before?
- Describe your engagement. Who proposed? Was the proposal a surprise or was it expected? What was their reaction?
- Did both families approve of the engagement and marriage? Why or why not? When did you first meet your in-laws? Were they accepting? When did your spouse first meet your parents? Did they welcome your spouse?
- How long was your engagement? Did it seem to last forever or did time just fly by?
- What was your wedding like? Did you have a large ceremony, a small ceremony, or did you elope? What made you decide to have it this way? What was the preparation like?
- Describe how you felt. Did you have the same feelings as you did during your first wedding?
- Who attended the wedding? Were your family and friends present? Did anyone participate in the ceremony? How did you choose them? Did you have a flower girl or a ring bearer? Who were they? Were children from previous marriages present?
- Was the reception memorable? Was food served? Was there dancing? How many people did you invite? Was it as elaborate asyour first marriage?
- Did you have any traditional customs or rituals at the reception? What were they?
- Did you go on a honeymoon? Where did you travel? Describe the vacation. What was most memorable?
- Did you go into marriage thinking you could change something about the other? What were some of those things and how did it work out?
- Did you go through any major adjustments when you were first married? How did you work through the issues of joint finances, housing, and living with another person? Were there any children involved?
- If children were brought into the marriage, how did each spouse adjust and react to having an instant family? If there were initially problems, were you able to overcome them?
- Describe the various stages of your marriage. Were there any high points that stand out? What about any low points? In what ways did your marriage grow stronger or weaker from them?
- How did you spend your holidays? Did you trade off between families? If you traded, did it put a strain on the families?
- Did you feel you had to give up anything when you got married? Your home, career, independence, or friends?
- What did you gain by getting married? A lifetime companion, more time with the one you loved, financial security?
- Describe your spouse. In what ways was your spouse different from or similar to your previous spouse?
- Who played which roles in your marriage--breadwinner, homemaker, and decision-maker? Did these roles change over time? In what ways?
- At the start of your marriage what did you have in common? What about your differences? After being married for awhile, did either person change?
- What issues did you argue about when you were first married? Money, politics, child rearing, religion? As your marriage matured, did you argue about the same issues?
- What differences were there in each of your marriages? Did being married before help or hurt your subsequent marriages? How?
- Did your different spouses ever meet each other? Did any problems arise between your different spouses? Over what issues?
- Did this marriage end? If yes, why? Was it through a divorce or death?
- If you had it to do all over again, what changes would you make in any of your marriages? Why?
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