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Death and Losing Loved Ones
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- What was his or her name? What was this person's relationship to you?
- What were your first thoughts when you heard about the death? Were you numb, outraged, pained? Did your thoughts or feelings have anything to do with the cause of death ?
- How did you cope with the death? Did you go through a time of denial or isolation? In what ways did you deny the death? At what point did you stop denying the death? Did the denial stop due to an event or person?
- Was anyone there to support and comfort you? Who was that person? In what ways did they make the healing process easier?
- Were you angry after the death? Some say "when people can no longer deny the truth anger often follows." Did you experience this? Did you lash out at anyone in particular?
- If you were angry, how did you express it? When did your anger start subsiding? Was there a cause or was it a case of "time healing all wounds"?
- In what ways did the death of the person significantly affect your life? If the person was a child or spouse, how did it affect your life to be without him or her?
- Was the death difficult to discuss or think about? If so, what about the death made it difficult to discuss? The circumstances of it? Your feelings towards the deceased? Were family members or friends open to talking about the death or did people keep their feelings to themselves?
- Was the death unexpected? How did the person die? If it was sudden, was it harder to accept than if you had been prepared for it?
- Did you have any unresolved issues in the relationship? Things you wished that you had said or done before they were gone? How did you cope with that? How did you find resolution? Did you talk with others, cry, or maybe yell?
- Did the person have an illness or disease? Was the person terminally ill? When did you realize the seriousness of it?
- How long did the person live with the illness? What were your feelings when you heard the diagnosis?
- If they had an illness, did you have mixed feelings about their death? Relief that it was over and pain as you tried to adjust?
- Did you feel prepared for the death? Did you say good-bye to the person? How did it make you feel?
- Were you the primary caregiver? How did it affect your lifestyle? Were there any treatments involved with the illness? How did they affect you? Did you have a support system, family or friends that helped you to cope?
- Did the death of this person make you think more about your own mortality? What were your feelings about it?
- Were you involved in the funeral arrangements? Was anything about the funeral particularly memorable? Were all the family members there? Was anyone missing?
- Who did the eulogy? Was it a significant part of the funeral ceremony? Did you feel it was accurate? Was there anything that wasn't said that should have been?
- Was there a casket at the funeral? If so, was it open or closed? Did it make it easier or more difficult at the funeral if you could see the remains?
- Was there a reading of the will? Who attended? Did you inherit anything? Was it worth more in sentimental value than monetary value?
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