Dear Kate, I searched on the Archdiocese of NY's website.In 1808 the Diocese of New York had only 3 churches and was missionary territory.In 1850 it was made an Archdiocese.John Joseph Hughes was its Archbishop. By 1864 when Archbishop Hughes died, there were 400,000 Catholics.Here is what Cardinal Egan wrote in his blog about the history of the Archdiocese.
Thus, at the end of Archbishop Hughes' tenure in 1864, the territory of the Archdiocese of New York was one-tenth the size of the Diocese of New York that had been established in 1808. Nonetheless, at the same time, it boasted a Catholic population of over 400,000. In his 26 years as shepherd of New York, John Joseph Hughes witnessed extraordinary growth in virtually all sectors of Church life. Over 100 parishes were founded. A parochial school system was put into place. A major seminary was built. A Catholic college, which is now Fordham University, was created. St. Vincent's Hospital was inaugurated. Ten congregations of religious came to serve in educational and charitable undertakings. And, of course, the foundation was laid for St. Patrick's Cathedral, the edifice that the newspaper editors of the day characterized as "Hughes' Folly" because, as they observed, "No one would go that far North to attend church." Archdiocese of New York website by the Edward Cardinal Egan
I think it would be good to write to the archives at the Archdiocese of NY and ask the archivist 1) if there was a waiting period for marriage in 1860 and 2) if so, how long was it.The website for the archives is below.It opens to a page with the archivists name and address.There is no genealogy information in the archives, but they should be able to find what was involved in marriage preparation in 1860.(Don't say the 19th century.As you can see, there was quite a lot of variation in NY during that century.)