The Civil War was 1861-1865. The SpAm was April 1898 to Aug 1898. Your Luke Lavender with wife Julia and sons Alfred and Alvin are in the 1880 census in Arcadia, Iowa County, Missouri and Luke is 64 born 1816 in England. He might have fought in Civil War although he was 45 in 1861. But he did not serve in SpAm War at age 82. You can see census for free at Ancestry or www.familysearh.org. Julia A. Lavender's obit appears in the Newspaper "Nebraska State Journal" of Lincoln Nebraska, July 19, 1900 (she died July 18 at 8a.m.)and it says he husband died "several years ago" so he died (Oct 1894 in AL) before SpAm War.