I tried to create the conditions you described but am not sure I got it right. I don’t understand what you mean by this statement.
Dion, on the other hand, in the 1st record (before merging) didn't have a spouse, and in the 2nd he did. Is this getting too confusing?
Yes, it is confusing.When I merged the duplicate wife everything came out fine.
Before merging I would do the following. Check all relationships for both people being merged. Check all relationships for all children of both or either of the people being merged.Fix any relationship problems with the children and double check the relationships of both people being merged before doing the merge.