I was in England once. We toured Westminister. They have a stained glass window in a little side chapel, dedicated to the RAF. It is pretty damn blunt. It shows an angel pulling a dead boy out of a crumpled spitfire.
We had spent the previous 30 minutes looking at memorials to people who died in their beds at advanced ages. The window reminded me that some people met in flames at 300 miles an hour, before they had time to do much in their lives. They did save England from Hitler, which is more than I've done, although I've lived three times as long.
Your Matthew was a bomber pilot, I believe. The Commonealth Graves Commission has him at
Name: KIRDY, MATTHEW JOHN ALEXANDER Rank: Pilot Officer Regiment: Royal Air Force, 142 Sqdn. Age: 19 Date of Death: 29/07/1940 Service No: 36254 Additional information: Son of Emmanuel and Ellen Jane Kirdy, of Mayfield, Canterbury, New Zealand. Casualty Type: Commonwealth War Dead Grave/Memorial Reference: Panel 9. Cemetery: RUNNYMEDE MEMORIAL
The cemetery link says
The Air Forces Memorial at Runnymede commemorates by name over 20,000 airmen who were lost in the Second World War during operations from bases in the United Kingdom and North and Western Europe, and who have no known graves. They served in Bomber, Fighter, Coastal, Transport, Flying Training and Maintenance Commands, and came from all parts of the Commonwealth. Some were from countries in continental Europe which had been overrun but whose airmen continued to fight in the ranks of the Royal Air Force. The memorial was designed by Sir Edward Maufe with sculpture by Vernon Hill. The engraved glass and painted ceilings were designed by John Hutton and the poem engraved on the gallery window was written by Paul H Scott.
I didn't look for a picture of the memorial, but there must be one somewhere on the WWW.
You should REALLY write to the RAF in England for his records. They may have data about his wife, like her home town.
Mayfield sounds like a quiet little town. It was the middle of summer for Emmanuel and Ellen Jane; meadows green, flowers blooming. Then they got the telegram, either just before or just after Christmas. I'm sorry.