Re: Looking for G.G.G.Grandmother.
You are correct, tough search.I'd focus on O'Neill and see if you get any more clues on Kelly before looking for Kelly in Carlow.
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Two things you might do - pull the baptismal on Peter to see if any O'N/Kelly immigrant sibs are godparents.
And find where Pat or Sarah O'Neill are buried and PHONE for everyone buried with them and dates.