I found an Ira Redding in Carter Co OK b abt 1885. He was enumerated as nephew and was a widow with 4yr old dtr, Montie. He married again and remained for the most part if I remember in Carter Co.
I found who I believe to be May, John and William in 1900 Mountain TWP Montgomery Co AR. She is listed as being b May 1884 and is a servant. John and William I are on the same pg, John's birth is not listed as Nov and is a hired hand in the Elder family. William is listed as Aug 1879(same as 1880 census) and is a hired hand with another family a couple of doors down.
As far as May is concerned, you said she died in OK. Could it have been as early as 1910?