In all seriousness, about honoring an ancestor - I guess family history is not like writing fiction - we take it as we find it. We can put a compassionate construction and/or open-hearted interpreetation on what we find. Some of the kiddng has been for a chuckle and is not truly one's assessment.
As with writing any history, human history, we can hope to be enlightened and empowered by what we discover. We can learn from past mistakes. We can realize we are not the only people who have flaws, not the only people who have faced misfortune or tragedy. We can admire an ancestral grandmother who persevered to raise her children alone. We can embrace the humanity of an ancestor and find a closer sense of connection than we would by putting him/her on a pedestal. For me, all that is a process of openinig up to a wider view of myself and my kin.
I’ve checked Tama County, Iowa, cemeteries on this link, below, where transcribed lists are available (does not include all of them): http://iagenweb.org/tama/cems/cemetery.htmlhttp://iagenweb.org/tama/cems/cemetery.html
Looked for HARPER, BUTLER, BROWN, SHELDON/Shelton, and ARMSTRONG. Found some Armstrongs but not the right ones. Found some Browns but not James Brown (Azalia’s father).