I can see why you gave up. I have worked for a couple of hours looking for Jasper on the census records 1850 through 1880 and no luck. I don't know why he didn't come up in 1900 for me, but when I entered Barton County there he was! I checked the Marriage records for Missouri, since he marriedFrances in 1887. And she was from Mo,and her first four children were born there, but no luck. I checked the 1917/18 draft cards for the boys , Virgil, Jesse and Charles were all in Tulsa OK area, Virgil and Charleslisted a dependant Mother, Jesse was married, the others single. So perhaps Jasper was dead by that time. I checked findagrave, and found a Jasper Whitaker buried in Tulsa Oakland Cem , but perhaps not yours, but they may have misread the stone, dates were May 30 1827- Mar 13 1906.The stone was well worn.
Sorry I was't any help. But he is a very hard fellow to find.Howard Boswell