David Abbey is my great, great grandfather also. I Googled his name and captain status and found this link. My father David Abbey Chambers passed away summer of 07 and shared stories of his namesake that corroborates much of your account. He also said that the fatal accident occurred near Door County, Wisconsin at a passage known as Porte Miorta, Death's Door. He said that he was actually burried at sea, though a grave marker is in Batavia, of which I recall seeing a photo.
I also remember a trip to Pelee Island on Nelson Abbey's (your grandfather?)boat when I was a young boy. It's exciting to find this.