This is meant as a general reply, and not to any particular person:
I'm sorry, but I've since stopped trying to find out about my so-called Spanish ancestry.
You see, I have rediscovered my Native Mexican ("Indian") Heritage. Southern heritage, you might say!
Shocking, yes I know. But most of us don't have THAT much Spanish blood in us. We were more like cattle for the Spaniards, their slaves, and they branded us as such by raping the Native women. If you scratch the historical surface of Colonial Mexico(New Spain), you'll realize that our "Spanish ancestry" is due to Spanish men raping our native women. Native men were forbidden from coupling with Spanish women.
As such, to pretend that a male-dominated, white-dominated system that let native women become the playthings of european men is somehow "heritage", or something to be proud of is sad.
It's the perfection of the white Spaniards' system of government to always have the sun smiling on them, even from across the ocean. And most of us are still brainwashed by this old system. In fact, we automatically dismiss anyone who dares to question the wisdom of white-male Euro-centrism.
And so it is that I am changing my "slave name" of Alderete to something traditional. Something my great-great-great...etc-grandmother would have wanted to name me, before she was raped, and forced into impregnation. I doubt she would be smiling as we here are honoring her rapists by digging frantically in search of the approval that a white European identity will afford us.
Alas, if we could only claim to be part European! Ah, how much we would could climb out of our pit of self-esteem!
Not me, pilgrim. I owe my identity to the people who are Native and fought for their land and families right here at home.
Want to be a "Hispanic"? Go right ahead. Hey, you'll have white faces smile upon you; you'll be "cool", "chic". You can say, hey "I'm Hispanic! I'm Latin! I'm almost Ricky Martin or Christina Aguilera...white!"
And you'll have many more white friends.
But watch how their smiles and friendly back pats and party invitations cease once you acknowledge that you identify with your "Indian" heritage!!
Wow, will you feel like you did something wrong! You upset the great White People. You've put them on notice that YOU KNOW...
...that you know of achievements and stories of pride about your Native ancestors , and you know things of shame about their european ancestors..oh no! Can't have that!
As for myself, I'm done trying to cherish other people's memories, and shelve my own so that they can feel comfortable about the badge of slavery I wear in the form of a slave's name.