Hello Judith, Just a quick up date.I went to see my cousin who lives at Hamsterley- 5 miles from Buttonknowle- near Bishop Auckland, Durham.We went to Lynesack churchyard, which serves Buttonknowle too, there was a grave for Wilkinson but I am yet to find any link there.I did look out for any Balmers, but no joy yet - I will still keep seaching.
However, my cousin has tried to verify the info you gave me from the 1901 census about John William Wilkinson, Mary and there family.They definately seem to be the family I am looking for.So that means Mary is the sister of your G.G.Grandmother.
He seems to think Mary died about 1905.John William Wilkinson, her husband,was a musician and played for the Colliery Band - they actually played at the Royal Albert Hall in London. He also gave a photograph of my G. Grandmother, Mary Balmer!If you would like a copy I will send you one.I don't have a scanner - would snail mail do?
Elaine p.s Lynesack, Buttonknowle & Softley are all within a 5 mile radius.