I'm finally getting back to you. I am even more convinced than I was when I wrote the posts you refer to, that Nancy Benham married my ancestor, Dr. Thomas W. Walker, and not Elijah Flannery. Further family connections have been discovered as Nancy's sister, Rachel, married James Flannery, Elijah's brother. It is likely James and Rachel removed to Missouri with the Walkers, as Thomas and Nancy Walker's son, John, married his cousin, Rachel Flannery, daughter of James and Rachel. John Walker lived in Platte Co., MO. at the time, near the Flannery's and is mentioned in James Flannery's estate. Rachel Walker apparently died in childbirth or shortly after, but their son, James Walker, lived. John Walker remarried and had more children with his 2nd wife. They then moved to Cedar County, Mo and lived near John's brother, Benjamin (my ancestor).
I did look at a lot of censuses and have concluded that the Elijah Flannery that you have being born in 1785 was in reality born 1794-1800, and also his wife Nancy, was born in this time period, which is too young for Nancy Benham. Nancy Benham was born December 1777 according to my cousin, who got the info from her great aunt. This age also fits Nancy Walker, Thomas's wife. The Elijah Flannery that bought some of Thomas's land in Dade Co., MO, turned out to be the son of James and Rachel Flannery. Lots of interesting connections to my Walkers!
I have also spent a lot of time looking into the Flannery's since there was a connection, and also was trying to disprove the notion that Nancy Benham m. Elijah Flannery. I would be happy to share my Family Tree Maker reports with you and could email them to you if you are willing to provide your email address, or could print and mail any info if you will email me and give me your mailing address, whichever you prefer.
Do you have any other information on the belief that Nancy Benham married Elijah Flannery, besides the book "Early Settlers of Lee County, Virginia" where the author SPECULATES that Nancy married Elijah? Hope to hear back from you soon.