I've been searching for Robert Failing, b.1828?, in New York.I have a question mark as his muster papers say he joined the Service when he was 36, and that was 1863. But how accurate are the papers? He married Caroline Carpenter, b. 1838? also of New York. Again on this, I am going by the 1870 Census for her age.
They moved to Fond du Lac, WI in the early 1860's. Robert died in 1864, in the Civil War.They had a son born that same year whom I doubt he ever saw.It does seem somewhat coincidental you are also looking for the same two last names that were married. Since your query is so old, I'm hoping you may have learned something by now.