Sorry for the delay in responding as I had to check my facts with my uncle Paddy in Ballynasare. I believe you met him in 1991?
The Tom Flahive from Clash you met in 1991 was from Ballynane but moved to Clash in later years?
He and the other Flahives you mentioned are decended from Jackie Flahive (1832-1902) whereas I'm from Jackies brother Paddy who was also from Ballynane. That would make Jackie my Gr-Gr-Granduncle. I guess we're about fourth cousin. My information was that Jackie was married to a O'Donnell woman not Connell, such are the traps of genealogy.
I presume that your related to Laurance Kavanagh who currently lives in Boherbrack?
If my information is correct then your father would have gone to NZ after the fall of Singapore during the war?