Yep, That's Us! I have all the information you are writing about. The Miss Allender was my Great Aunt Lola. My Grandmother, Wilma Allender, is still living in Olympia and I am trying to pull more information together for her. I have a huge amount of information on Thomas' second wife and a little gossip about his children.
Apparently when Tom lived in KY, he married Margaret Robinson. She was the daughter of James Robinson who married a woman named Hannah Allender. Together they had about 20 kids between them. When Margaret died, Tom remarried a woman named Nancy Farley. Tom and Margaret's sons moved south (after arguments with their strict father) and Tom and Nancy moved west to MO with their daughter.
A few years later, John Allender tried his hand at panning gold. He didn't have much luck. On the way to CA he was a leader in the wagon train so when things didn't 'pan' out, he became a wagon train master. While making the trip between KY and CA, he visited his recently widowed brother and talked him into moving to MO with his family.
Tom and Nancy's daughter, Frances Jane met James Allender in MO. Tom wasn't happy about their relationship because James was the Grandson of Hannah Allender Robinson, the step-mother of his first wife. He tried to stop it. They married anyway.
From what I can put together, Thomas was orphaned in PA and raised by a German family. He moved on to KY and then to MO where he passed away. I'm looking for info on his parents or point of orgin into the US.
I have posted some information on my family pages at www.laytonworld.homestead.com