The 2005 book "North Fork Cemeteries" by Clement Healy, publ. by Arcadia Press contains a photograph of a gravestone in the Shelter Island Presbyterian Church Cemeetery engraved for Capt. Charles C. Griffing and his wife Maria Havens.Assume this is only a memorial to him.
Anna Maria Havens' mother was Roxanna Case, whose second husband was Oliver Mayo, and daughter of Gillum and Esther (Hand) Case.Looking for her burial.
In addition to the sons you mentioned, Charles and Anna Maria had an older daughter, Mary Clarissa, born April 4, 1833.