Thank you for looking, the first Joseph is too early and you did not mention the age of the 2nd. The Joseph I am looking for was 42 in the 1880, census for Bangor. When he married Marie Gilbert in 1872, he was 34 years old which makes me think he may have been married before. He came and disappeared apparently into thin air.
I much appreciate you trying to help, it is the one piece of the puzzle that has eluded me so far.