Mister Patrick McGinty,an Irishman of note,Came into a fortune and he bought himself a goat. Said he, "Sure of goat milk,I aim to have my fill." But when he got his nanny home,he found it was a Bill. ] And now all the ladies who live in Kililew Are all wearing bustleslike their mothers used to do They each wear a bolster beneath their petticoat And leave the rest to providence and Paddy McGinty's Goat.
Off the West coast of Ireland one morning there were seen As plain as any pikes, there's the German submarines When Coastguard Maloney fell over in a fit Said Paddy McGinty's Goat,"It's time for me to do my bit." He dove into the water as frisky as a whale Swam around the U-boat,waggin' his little tail He upped with his horn and he stuck it in the boat And sent the Hun to Heligoland did Paddy McGinty's Goat.
Now the bold Irish Guards though you'd think it was romance Adopted the goat and they took him out to France The day that they landed he heard the bugle blow He ducked his little cranium and ran to meet the foe.
The Germans retreated and hurriedly they fled And holding their noses they tumbled over dead "Ach" said the Kaiser"there's poison gas afloat" It was only the effluvium from Paddy McGinty's goat
Little Nora McCarthy,the knot was going to tie She washed all the bloomers and hung them out to dry Along came the Goat and he saw that it was white He chewed 'em up to fodder as begun the wedding night.
"Oh, turn off the gas quick!"she shouted out to Pat "Although I'm your bride, sure,I'm not worth looking at!" "I had two of everything,I told you when I wrote, But now I'm wearing nothing'cause of Paddy McGinty's Goat!"
Now Pat McGinty's goat had a wondrous appetite And often for breakfast he'd eat some dynamite, A box full of sparklers he'd swallow with a grin And when he'd had his fill of that,he drank some paraffin.
He sat by the fireside - he didn't give a hang. He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang. So when you get to heaven you can bet the dollar note, That the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat.
Now Mickey Reilly went to the races the other day, he won a twenty pound note and shouted 'hip hooray', he held out the note saying'look at what I've got', when along came McGinty's goat and swallowed all the lot.
He's eaten me twenty pound note cried Mickey with a jump, so they called for the doctor,to get the stomach pump, well they pumped and they pumped for that twenty pound note,but all they got was sixpence out of Paddy McGinty's goat!
Now Old Mrs Lane said to her daughter Mary-Jane, Who was the young man you were cuddling in the lane, With long wiry whiskers a'hanging from his chin, 'twas only Paddy McGinty's goat she answered with a grin.
She was sent away from the village in disgrace, And came back with powder and paint upon her face, She had rings upon her fingers and she wore a sable coat, You can bet your life she never got those from Paddy McGinty's Goat.