Hi I believe your husband could be my uncle, and yes what I know of the Tomes family is very confusing to me too. My father's name is Terry Tomes. His father was Ivan Tomes, mother Rebecca Graves.I know that Ivan and Rebecca had seven or eight children in Chicago, IL and that Ivan left the family when my father was very young.I hardly know my own father but from the little info that i have, apparently his father did start a new family, or several from what it seems. I realize this posting is fairly old but I am new to this site and I just started my Tomes family search so any new information you have found since your posting would be appreciated. Thank you and good luck in your search.