I don't know if you already have found this but in the 1900 Virginia Census Henrico County you will find Carry M. Toombs and 3 sons living with her parents Grandison and Bette Williams. Clearly her husband has either died or left his family. BY the 1910 census same county the 3 sons are still in household of Grandison Williams listed as his grandsons. Cary is not there and if Ms Selby's info is correct had died in 1902. The Clarence you found in the 4th Virginia Volunteers Spanish-American war could be the father and perhaps died in that war and would not be in the 1900 census. Clarence E. the son was born in 1893 so would only be 5 years old at start of the war.