A MOTHERS LOVE

To express one's feelings in words is something that has never come easy to me. Whenever I have done so, it has taken a great amount of time and searching of my inner thoughts. Everything is inside, but getting it to come out is something different. I wish my mind was like that of a computer memory, where I could just give it a command, and it would print whatever was in memory, but it’s not. I feel very deeply, I think very deeply, and most often, I keep these feelings and thoughts to myself. I guess I am a private person…..maybe too private. I don't consciously try to be this way, I just am. One thing I have been too private about is the true feelings about the one person in this world who gave me life. My mother. That is why today, I would like to paint a picture for you of my mother, as seen through the eyes of a son who loves her very deeply, and try to show you how much she has meant and still does today. This may not be poetry, it may not all be prose. It may rhyme or it may not, but it's all me, momma.

You loved me before I was me, and as I grew inside you, somewhere along the way, that love became a part of me. I knew I was loved, even before I knew that I knew. Now that is profound. You planned for me, you cared for me and one day you and God gave me life. You held me with all of the tenderness that a mother can hold her child. You fed me, you cleaned me, you made clothes for me, you dressed me just right, and you loved me, but most important, you gave me a part of your heart. That's my mother's love.

My earliest recollection of you must have been around the time that I was two years old, I am told. It was of a tall slender woman with black wavy hair who could make the prettiest pies with the cross strips of crust on top, who could make the best chicken and noodles, who could churn milk into butter, and who could make a house into one of the most warm loving homes there ever was. I remember you as a hard working farm mother, but I also remember you as the prettiest mother I had ever seen. I remember a dark pin striped suit, black high-heeled shoes, and I think a black hat. I remember following you through stores and even then, I remember how pretty you were. I thought you were very special……..you were. That's my mother's love.

Christmas was wonderland at our house. You always made it very special and to the day I die, nothing will ever replace that memory that I have of lights and the angel hair. I wish I could recreate that beauty now. I remember the mystery of Santa. I would take a mental picture of the tree and the presents that were already under it before I went to bed Christmas Eve. Then Christmas morning, I would run down stairs and could immediately tell which presents Santa had brought. It was magic and I was so excited. My first presents that I remember, which I am sure you have forgotten, was a little metal racetrack with small windup race cars on it, and the small bicycle with the hard rubber tires and the belt drive, but the picture wouldn't be complete without you. You were the centerpiece that made it all special. It was your love mother, that makes those memories stick like they do. It was your love mother that makes me want to remember those times. That's my mother's love.

 

 

 

I REMEMBER YOIUR WARM SMILE, I REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT FELT TO HUG YOU. You were my haven mom, where I felt warm, safe, secure, and loved. You wrapped me in a blanket of love, in which I was protected, in which I could grow and mature, and learn all of the things a boy should learn from his mother. Daddy was very; very special to me, but mother it was you I would come to, to talk about things. I knew you would understand and would tell me what to do. That's my mother's love.

You were so talented. Remember the clown suit you made for me. I was the best looking clown in the show. Remember the Jack Frost suit you made for my fourth grade play? I do. I can still see it sparkle, and the little shoes were like elf shoes with pointed turned up toes. I was the coldest looking Jack Frost there was as I sang

I AM JACK FROST BOLD, I MAKE THE FLOWERS COLD,

WHEN ICE AND SNOW ARE ON THE GROUND, I MAKE NO

NOISE AS I CREEP AROUND

I remember my pride when you would visit me at school. I would look forward to it for days if I knew you were coming. I was proud of you and I wanted people to see my pretty momma. Maybe you knew and came because I wanted you to, or maybe it was that you just wanted to see now Tommy was doing, but in either case, you came. That's my mother's love.

When I was in 4-H, 5th grade, I remember them telling me about a dress rehearsal. All excited, I went home to tell you about it. I don't remember why I wanted to enter, but I did. You would have nothing else, but that I would enter. Many of my clothes you made, and those you didn't make, you picked out. I am still astounded that out of 60 boys, I came in first in the school wear class. To me, all of us boys looked pretty much alike. I came in first in everything I entered and was even named Junior Grand Champion and Reserve Grand Champion in the overall division. You were there throughout the whole thing, giving me the right clothes to wear and ensuring that I had them on properly, combing my hair, making sure my shoes were shined. Mother, those ribbons are yours. You made me, you made the clothes. All I did was wear them, and it's only fitting that the ribbons are all blue. You are a first place mother. That's my mother's love.

I remember the nights that I lay in bed,

all snug and warm inside.

I'd call for you to come up and talk,

you'd come up and sit down beside.

Though weary and ;tired you always came,

I know it wasn't always easy to do,

But I'd listed for footsteps on the stairs,

and yes, it was always you.

We solved many problems during those bedside chat's mom. I would always go to sleep afterwards with that safe, warm loved feeling that I have tried to give my children. We were building something mom, that won't die. It still lives today, so maybe it was worth walking those 13 steps. I know it was to me. That's my mother's love.

So many children are born into this world unwanted, unloved, without a mother that will talk to them, without a mother that will guide them, without someone to teach them values and give them the tools with which to build their own lives. This was not the case with me. I was blessed with a warm, loving, beautiful mother who was also a lady. That's why on this mother's day, 1988, I am sending you this tape, so you will have something in my own voice telling you how much you still mean to me. You're still beautiful mom, I still need you, and you're still my mother……….that's your son's love. God bless you mom. You're a CLASSY LADY.