Mary "Polly" Snodgrass Rape Sangamon IL 1860 census

This is a cross posting to several forums; see info on Polly in paragraph3

I found a marriage listed for:

Peter E Anthony - Nancy Griffiths married 6 Nov 1865 in Sangamon County, IL.[Illinois Marriages 1851-1900 database online] Provo, UT.Ancestry.com Operations Inc 2005.

I know my ggrandmother was a widow after 1852; my ggrandfather Thomas A. GRIFFITTS [altho the spelling is variable] died then.Nancy Catherine Elmore Griffitts came to Oklahoma Territory with her daughter Rhoda Virginia Griffitts Estell and her husband Wm H. Estell about 1893.Nancy died in OT in April 1896. [Edmond Sun Depot 24 Apr 1896, page 3; she is buried in the Chitwood Family Cemetery as Nancy Anthony 1816-1896

What I do not know is if the marriage license cited references the same two individuals, and, if it does, where and when did Peter Anthony die?

I found a census entry in the 1860 federal census IL, Whiteside, Morrison, p 292 [or 242] but I am pretty sure this couple is NOT my ggrandmother as none of the children listed with this couple are Nancy's. She would have had 3 children 18 and under in 1860.However, I may have found all the seven children [ages 25-9] living with a Polly Rape, age 47 born I and her [son?] James. 1839.Also living with them were John Ellmore b IL, age 6 and a William Ellmore b VA age 26.Nancy's father was William Elmore but I cannot find this younger Elmore and [I assume] his son in my database; she was born in VA.

In looking further I found a marriage license between Henry Rape and Polly Snodgrass 23 June 1836.The James [previous paragraph] could be their son James H. Rape b ca 1838.I found a Rape family [he, Henry being b abt 1787 in NC], she Polly b in East Prussia, and their children James, b 1838, Gustavus b 1840, Thomas J. b 1843, William b 1846, Elizabeth b 1849, and Nancy Crul , b 1836.

I have no idea what the connection between these two families is--any help is appreciated.

tia, judy knight